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http://www.davericho.com/

“Who am I? I am open.”

GIVENS:

-Things Change & End. -Things don’t always go as planned. -And they are not always fair. -Pain is involved. -And People are not always loyal & loving. -There is a cycle to life with new beginning. -Synchronicity is meaningful. -Pain is a path toward redemption/freedom/reassessment. We host pain. -In Relationship: There are a series of painful initiations.

GIVENS ALLOW FOR:

Evolution Texture and taste of life Affirmation

OPPORTUNITY: Offer an uncontrollable-unconditional “Yes” to the Givens of life. Surrender the ego’s insistence that all will go my way, according to my expectations. Without surrender, feelings of rage can persist.

Yes->Surrender->Alignment->Mourn the losses->Make a change

Due to the Givens, we have a chance (or many chances) to grieve everyday. GRIEF has three stages. I am willing to grieve everyday.

1. Sadness that X is gone 2. Anger that X is gone 3. Fear that X will never be replaced.

There is grief-cargo: Current loss picks up old feelings of grief, old-cargo.

BELL-CURVE is built into the human psyche: 3 stages: a rise in interest, peal interest, lack of interest. Then there is a chance to grieve.

TRUST: Trust that the way the chips fall holds a lesson for me & trust that there is a ladder to a new consciousness and trust that I can handle it.

FEARLESSNESS: the realization that nothing is going to happen that does not already belong to me.

HERO: A calling to give generously, giving more and more for humanity.

Respect defenses and BLOCKS: Sometime the wisdom of the body knows it can’t be handled.

Trying to CONTROL is trying to avoid grief. I will get my way with control and avoid feeling sadness/anger/fear. WORRY is similar to control. I’m worried X will not turn out my way. I am afraid of fear/sadness. RESENTMENT: Unexpressed negative feelings. If you are angry, speak up and find a resolution that brings serenity. CODEPENDENCY: The less interest he shows, the more interest I have. Mourning for less and less. Futile energy. Notions that we create our own reality and choose our own parents are new ways to control, these do not allow room for fate, serendipity.

REGRET: Grieving again. Keeps us humble.

Let everyone have their own experience and be their own NARRATOR. Avoid C.I.A. – Criticizing, Interfering, and Advise. Surrender to others limits, enter into the reality of who s/he is.

Your focus on work and your goals are impacted by the Imponderables

ANTHROPOLOGY

What customs and rituals does this culture observe?

What kinds of men and women are respected in this culture?

What body shapes are considered ideal?

How are sex roles assigned? How are girls meant to act in this culture? How are boys meant to act?

What does the culture expect from you?

What happens if you break the rules and do not act how you are meant to act?

Girls are socialized to look to others for validation. But this keeps you other-oriented and reacting to the world. It is easy to become an object; it is more difficult to be an agent, self-directed and focused inward. Which path are you taking?

Is this culture misogynistic? How?

ONLY AFTER UNDERSTANDING OUT CULTURAL RULES CAN WE RESIST THEM.

Find a quiet place and sit for 10-15 minutes everyday. Relax your muscles and breathe deeply. Focus on your thought and feelings. Only observe and respect them. You have much to learn from your own internal reaction to your own life.

How do you feel?

If the event was stressful, how stressed are you on a scale of 1 (not stressed) to 10 (very stressed).

What do you think?

What is important to you about this experience?

What did you learn from this experience?

How do you manage pain?

Tips: Sit with it. Listen for messages, what is the pain telling you? Talk, write, expresse it through art, dance and music.

WHAT ARE YOUR NORTH STAR GOALS?

What is your sense of who you truly are and where you are going? Only when you orient yourself North can you chart your own course and maintain it and keep from being blown all over the sea. Sometimes freedom seems like being able to blow in the wind but that kind of freedom will turn you in circles. Freedom is consciously sailing toward your dreams.

What are your values?

How would I describe myself to myself?

How do I see myself in the future?

What kind of work do I like?

When do I feel most myself?

What kind of leisure do I like?

How have I changed since entering puberty?

What kinds of people do I respect?

How am I similar to and different from my mother?

How am I similar to and different from my father?

What goals do I have for myself as a person?

What are my strengths and weaknesses?

What would I be proud of on my death bed?

What are my short-term goals? How can you achieve these?

What are my long-term goals? How can you achieve these?

RECORD YOUR VICTORIES Record the actions you take that are in keeping with your long-term goals and share them with the people close to you. .

CREATE HAPPINESS

Write a Gratitude Letter—to anyone who has done right by you. This can be to relative, friend, teacher, coach, teammate, employer, and so on. Describe in concrete terms why you are grateful. If possible deliver the letter and have the person read it in your presence. If this is not possible then send it and follow-up later with a phone call. (Peterson 2006)

Letting go of grudges. Write a Forgiveness Letter—to anyone who has wronged you and who you have no explicitly forgiven. Describe in concrete terms why you forgive him/her and what if anything you hope will happen between you in the future. Has this individual ever apologized? If so, how did you react? Do not send the letter. This is an internal exercise. After you write the letter, notice if you act differently toward this person. (Peterson 2006)

Write an essay entitled my Philosophy of Life. Include the principles you live by or would like to live by. Here are some suggestions if you are stuck: Think of the activities you enjoy; what are the values or beliefs that drive these activities. Think of a religion or spirituality you like, what does this practice emphasize. Who do you admire, what characteristics does this person possess.

Imagine yourself at age 90. Looking back over your life, what are you proud of? What has made you happy? What do you hope to be remembered for?

In the next week do something fun/pleasurable and do something philanthropic. Flip a coin to decide which to do first and spend the same amount of time on each activity. At the end of the week, compare and contrast you reactions to these activities. (Peterson 2006)

Have a Good Day. 1) What activities constitute a good day for you? Carefully observe your days over the next two weeks. Get a notebook or a speadsheet and keep track of each day, hour-by-hour or activity-by-activity. At the end of your day rate it from 10 (best)—1(worst). 2) At the end of the two weeks, see if you can identify any patterns? What did you do on good days? On bad days? 3) Based on this information, can you devise a formula for a good day? What activities need to be included in your good days? (Peterson 2006)

The Art of Living Well/ http: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophical_counseling Philosophical Coaching: Understanding Yourself and the World Relieves Stress. Meditation: Clearing the Mind, Cleaning the Mind to assess what's going on inside the Mind and Discuss links to physical pain body.

My Philosophy: An Experience of Freedom and Safety. Belief in self. And a lifestyle that supports this belief. Universalism. Junguian. Art Therapy: Art as a vehical, Creativty as a vehicale Supplamentary Medicine.

Adolescent Social Dynamics/Gender Issues: -Who a female is with is more important than what they do. -The need to have a boyfriend to be popular. Being popular is necessary. Being intelligent does not help develop popularity. Problem: Who defines what is popular?

Mixed Messages 1) Females fear being sexually assaulted by the same men they are meant to trust. 2) Young females are portrayed as sexual objects while being told to abstain; be sexy and innocent. There is often peer pressure to have sex, as a rite of passage but then when a young female has sex she can easily be shunned and called ‘easy’ or a ‘ho.’ 3) Teenage females act sophisticated and knowledgeable about sex while feeling anxious underneath.

African American considerations: -bell hooks: the commodification of a black race.

Divorce

SEX POSITIVE

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY & PAIN MANAGEMENT

http: //www.painfoundation.org/ManageYourPain/Yoga/yogaposter.pdf http: //www.painfoundation.org/ManageYourPain/Yoga/yogacurriculum.pdf

http: //www.painfoundation.org/Publications/Notebook.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/# http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/Depression%20Screening.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/toolkits/n/Nurses_Intro_Sheet.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/toolkits/CaliforniaProclamation.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/toolkits/Myths_Pain.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/toolkits/Pain_Manage_Guides.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/8%205x11%20Pain%20Log%202-8-06.pdf http: //www.theacpa.org/documents/Quality_of_Life_Scale.pdf

Also, Five Types of Affirmations for Empowerment By Jeanie Marshall "You become what you behold."?-William Blake Five categories of affirmations support you in manifesting powerful change. These five categories or types of affirmations have emerged from my consulting work with clients and workshop participants. You may work with affirmations in every category concurrently, or you may focus on a different category each day or each week. It is important that affirmations you select resonate with you, that is, that they feel natural and appropriate. In order to experience this resonance, you may need to change words in the ones listed here as examples, or let these inspire you to create ones you prefer, or develop your own from scratch. Popular Affirmations: Many popular affirmations are beautiful, indeed, they are quite extraordinary! However, if you do not believe them, they are useless or even counterproductive. If you say an affirmation you do not believe, saying it repeatedly will not make you believe it. Actually, the repetition can build up greater resistance to believing it. Consider this example: Sam feels powerless. He has had many experiences that he can point to that justify his feelings and his belief in his own powerlessness and unworthiness. Saying "I am powerful" is less likely to erase his feelings of powerlessness than to prompt an emphatic reaction, such as, "Oh, no, I'm not!" If Sam does not deal with the resistance, he carries it with him as he lives his life. An empowering process emerges by using these five categories of affirmations in a systematic way to assist you in embracing an affirmation that you desire to believe but do not. If you have an intention and a desire to say and believe "I am powerful," start by releasing powerlessness, open to the possibility of being powerful, affirm an intention and readiness to live in your power, claim your power, and let the idea of powerfulness integrate into your life. Following are the five categories of affirmations described briefly with a few examples of each type. Releasing/Cleansing Affirmations: The purpose of Releasing and/or Cleansing Affirmations is to let go of unwanted and unneeded stuff. Especially, they help you let go of resistance. They allow you to purify your system. These affirmations stimulate the release of toxins such as negative thought forms, repressed or suppressed emotions, old memories, negative bonds with others, karma, dark consensus reality, illusions of all types. 0. I give myself permission to release toxicity from every level of my energy field. 0. I rescind outdated vows of poverty, celibacy, struggle, silence, and unworthiness. 0. I release resistance. 0. I let go of old programs that keep me stuck in old patterns. 0. I let go of everything I do not want or need for my highest good.

Receiving/Accepting Affirmations: The purpose of Receiving and/or Accepting Affirmations is to open to allow something to be. They allow us to receive goodness from the Universe. They neutralize the misqualification of energy; that is, they can reverse illness or other density. In addition, they help us shift the attention from disempowering actions such as, "getting" or "taking" to more freeing concepts such as, "receiving" and "allowing" and "accepting." 0. I open to the gifts of the Universe. 0. I allow abundance to flow through me. 0. I accept support when I need it. 0. Dear God, please let me know what to do in a way that I can understand. 0. I accept peace and joy in all aspects of my life.

Being/Intending Affirmations: The purpose of Being and/or Intending Affirmations is to ground your purpose, especially your higher purpose. These affirmations enhance conscious awareness of your intention about something or about your mission in life. In addition, these affirmations can deepen your understanding of your reason for being and/or acting generally or in a specific situation. They can be used to enhance any and all actions that follow. 0. I know that this is for the highest good of all concerned. 0. I deepen my awareness of the consciousness from which actions spring. 0. I live my mission. 0. My intention is to live free from struggle, fear, and hopelessness. 0. I remember.

Acting/Claiming Affirmations: The purpose of Acting and/or Claiming Affirmations is to bring something into manifestation or to direct the energy of your intention to appropriate manifestation. These affirmations bring into the physical experience those ideas that you hold in your mind and/or heart. In addition, these affirmations help you to claim your power and establish boundaries in relationships. 0. I act with high intention and purposeful awareness. 0. I step into the world to live my mission in every word and action. 0. I demand my good right now. 0. I make every act an act of love (or freedom or mastery or hope, etc.). 0. I am powerful. I am worthy. I am loveable. I am free.

Integrating/Embodying Affirmations: The purpose of Integrating and/or Embodying Affirmations is to allow the energy and meaning of the affirmations to merge with your consciousness. Affirmations and ideas that do not resonate, drop away. Integrating/Embodying Affirmations support us in knowing more deeply -- integrating -- what we have learned rather than introducing new information. 0. I integrate trust into every aspect of my life. 0. I breathe love into my job, my body, my relationships. 0. Yes to Life! 0. Today is an opportunity for peace. 0. I breathe in abundance, letting my whole body feel its energy.

Affirmations as Lifestyle: As you work more and more with intentional affirmations -- written, spoken, read, chanted, meditated upon -- you will make them part of your lifestyle. Affirmations are already working for (or against!) you. It is your job to select the ones you want to live by. Remember, you are already using affirmations every time you think or speak! If your current affirmations are disempowering, you can intentionally change them to ones that you choose to live by.

Affirmation Recap:

RELEASING CLEANSING

I give myself permission to release toxicity from every level of my energy field.

I release outdated vows of poverty, celibacy, struggle, silence, and unworthiness.

I let go of old programs that keep me stuck in old patterns.

I let go of everything I do not want or need for my highest good.

RECEIVING ACCEPTING

I open to the gifts of the Universe.

I allow abundance to flow through me.

I accept support when I need it.

I accept peace and joy in all aspects of my life.

I know that this is for the highest good of all concerned.

I deepen my awareness of the consciousness from which actions spring.

I live my mission.

My intention is to live free from struggle, fear, and hopelessness.

I remember.

I act with high intention and purposeful awareness.

I step into the world to live my mission in every word and action.

I call forward my good right now.

I make every act an act of love. Freedom. mastery. Hope.

I am powerful. I am worthy. I am loveable. I am free.

I integrate trust into every aspect of my life.

I breathe love into my job, my body, my relationships.

Yes to Life!

Today is an opportunity for peace.

I breathe in abundance, letting my whole body feel its energy.

Gratitude Exercise

Everyday, the end of the day is preferable, write down three things you are grateful for and why.

This exercise has been proven to raise people’s level of subjective well-being, (i.e. happiness) both in the short and long-term.

Date __________

1.

2.

3.

Date: ___________

1.

2.

3.

Date: ___________

1.

2.

3.

Source – Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman, 2002

What are your strengths?

How do you use your strengths day-by-day?

What are your values?

How are your daily tasks in line with your values?

What are your priorities?

What are your goals?

What are you grateful for?

Good article on adolescents sexual exploration: http: //www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_1_39/ai_87080436/pg_7

IndexcardsWorking

Happiness & Self-Care

Ingredients of Happiness:

Gratitude Friendship Love Community Compassion Hope

Expect inconvenience from time to time. Inconvenience is what the 4 noble truths are about: 1. There is inconvenience 2. There is a cause to the inconvenience 3. The inconvenience will cease 4. There is a path away from frequent inconvenience

Deep self-love is an automatic unconscious belief in your ability to thrive.

We thrive with self-maintenance. Pace: For one week move at a comfortable pace. Perform a NeedsAnalysis.

Ways to maintain:

Program your day.

Catharsis aids maintenance.

As does motion.

A. Eco-psychology

NVC is a language of needs.

Notes on COMMUNICATION from Marshall B. Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication.

To make a request when you are upset about something, use this format…

1) “When you did/said X (name the time/place) 2) “I felt Y 3) “So I would like it if 4) “So that we could

WHAT NOT TO SAY To communicate compassionately & avoid alienation we must avoid certain ways of communicating. 1) Avoid moralistic judgments, rights and wrongs, good and bad. Calling someone bad or wrong when they do not act in accordance with our preferences or values is judgmental. Labels, insults, criticism and comparisons are all forms of judgment. Rumi wrote, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, I’ll meet you there.” 2) Comparisons – Lead to misery. 3) Avoid communicating desires as demands. Demands put others on the defense, it threatens others with blame or punishment. 4) Denial of responsibility: “You have to…”, “ You make me feel…”, “You hurt me by doing that”

VIOLENCE = comes from believing that other people cause our pain and deserve punishment.

There are 4 options when hearing a difficult message: 1. Blaming ourselves 2. Blaming others 3. Sensing our own feelings & needs 4. Sensing others’ feelings & needs hidden in the other person’s negative message

FIGHTS Argument = two people needing and not getting

Be the witness. How are you presenting yourself to others? What do you look like in their eyes? In times of stress it is very helpful to be able to step back and see yourself.

When arguing with others, try and take a step back and understand what the other persons needs are. Then respond to those deep needs instead of responding to the angry words on the surface. And do the same for yourself. When you are upset and using harsh words, try to pinpoint your unmet need, communicate that need and then get it met with ease.

Anger is a wake-up call, alerting us to the fact that we are not getting a need met & that we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met. .

7 STEPS TO EXPRESSING ANGER

1) STOP AND BREATHE 2) REMEMBER N.V.C. 3) IDENTIFY OUR JUDGEMENTAL THOUGHTS a. “I don’t like people who are……..” 4) CONNECT WITH OUR NEEDS a. ‘When I make that judgment, what am I needing and not getting?” 5) TAKE YOUR TIME 6) EMPATHIZE WITH THE OTHERS UNMET NEED 7) EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS AND UNMET NEEDS

To express anger, we must divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger. Others behavior may be the stimulus for our feelings, but not the cause. What other people do is never the cause of how we feel. Even if we are not conscious of it, the cause of anger is located in our own thoughts of blame & judgments.

“[place/time]…when you made that [sexist/racist/disparaging] comment, I felt sick to my stomach and actually got scared, it triggered all of these needs I have to be treated equally. How do you feel when I tell you this?” 4 June 2006

IanHolmes has a blog on zaboart.com too...

A Collection of Metaphors: 1) Peeling an onion is like pulling back layers of personal defense. 2) With every boat out there is one coming into the pier. 2) Pushing down sadness is like holding a beach ball under water the energy of that feeling will attempt to rise, but be extended as the emotion of depression. Similarly, fear is a feeling, but when one becomes afraid of fear, it can be judged, suppressed, and result in anxiety. (Paul O. Radde)

EMOTION vs. FEELING

Feeling= a spontaneous energy that we experience.

Emotion= arises from a thought.

Thoughts create emotion. 19 May 2006

Paul O. Radde, Ph.D., Director The Thrival Institute 1995 East Coalton Road, Suite 30-302 Superior, CO 80027-4425

Consultant, Speaker, Psychologist

Today I had reason to consider my own self-worth & what self-worth can mean. It can mean opening up one's awareness to let ordinary moments lead to change. It can also mean loving myself so I can love others. Giving to myself so I can continue to give to others. Honoring my needs so I can respect and honor others. My need for quiet reflection, focusing, prioritizing...My need to trust with the foundation of trust being honesty...My need to continue the GratitudeExercise.

We just got back from the East Coast, where I learned a few things about my father. And where it was also important for me to talk loudly and confidently. When I was young, I stole love in order to keep surviving. Fortunately I have moved beyond surviving, to thriving, nourishing, self-care. I don't have to steal love. I am love. I can create more of it. I could expand and extend it, engender it. Little Eloise is a product of love. It is my call to foster self-love, self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect and self-esteem in her.

I don't want to lambaste my parents or grandparent’s generation but I can clearly see a psychological and emotional evolution. The Age of Information prompted this evolution. I went to grad school and absorbed. The power of new and flourishing information allows me to be who I am. React, Consider, Understand, Learn and Change. My dad said that he was never very good at taking care of himself. Whereas I am good at taking care of myself. And I am getting better day-by-day. 18 May 2006

I would LOVE to acquire these products.

The Thoughtstream Biofeedback Machine offers features you'd expect to see on biofeedback machines costing 10 times as much. When connected to a Proteus mind machine, the Throughtstream Biofeedback Machine - Proteus Mind Machine combination allows the user to control the display of the Proteus with their mind. It's an awesome experience!

• http://www.iproducts.ws/thoughtstream.htm
• http://www.powerstates.com/

18 April 2005

When I was on maternity leave, I did some writing on psychology, and in particular my practice of psychology and I wrote the words “pos psychology”. This was a big doorway into the movement of Positive Psychology. I found Martin E. P. Seligman. If I had to go to school all over again, I’d try my very hardest to get into the renowned U Penn so that I could become a proper Positive Psychologist. Since going back to school is not a realistic option right now, my current endeavor is to teach myself how to practice positive psychology. So the next time someone asks me, “What kind of psychology do you practice?” I could proudly respond, “Positive Psychology" (with a little bit of this and that mixed in. Of course CBT is very important. I think I will always be (psycho)analytical. Expressive Arts is overlooked but ever important to me.) The thing about Positive Psychology is; it’s been a part of Social Work training for a while. I graduated RU, School of Social Work in 1997. And the professors placed a lot of emphasis on the Strengths Perspective. Build people’s strengths, Highlight people’s strengths. Build and Highlight Communities strengths.

So anyway, I am reading a bunch of Prof Seligman's work: books, articles, and speeches. And I will attempt to summarize some of the finer points. This is truly exhilarating!

Before I went away on maternity leave from my work as a Mental Health Therapist at the Clinical Training and Research Institute, I felt something was missing. I was almost wishing my supervisor, Dr. TKSvensson would break out in manner of a preacher and teach me how to enliven others, build people up, motivate. I found what I was looking for in Dr. Seligman. And this Dr. is dogmatic, which is necessary. He’s got to speak up, shake up the abnormal psych-disease model that dominates. He’s rekindling the 'old skool' missions of psych: to enhance well-being and to understand genius. Ahhhh, what a breath of fresh air. You mean I don’t have to sit around pointing out all the negatives in every direction. I don’t have to focus on the evil origins of disorders. I can give hope; I can build strengths and teach happiness! Take that DSM. Oh and Dr. Seligam is very evidenced-based. Thank you Martin (and your daughter too). 31 March 2006

Here are some highlights from Martin’s book, Authentic Happiness:

Happier people

• Have more acquaintances and friends (Friendship)
• Are married (Love)
• Are more involved in group activities (Community)
• Are more altruistic and empathetic (Compassion)
• Are Hopeful
• Don’t need to have lots of money, good looks or great health.

Developing more Positive Emotion in our lives will build friendship, love, better physical health, and greater achievement.

On Depression

This is more or less a direct quote: “The thought of danger causes anxiety, the thought of loss causes sadness, and the thought of trespass causes anger. Whenever we find ourselves in one of these moods, all we need to do is trace the mood backward to the thought. The thoughts of people with depression are dominated by negative interpretations of the past, of the future and of their abilities. LEARNING to argue against these pessimistic interpretations relieves depression just about as well as antidepressant meds.”

My psychoanalytic leaning dooms me.

Here’s why, “Many people are unduly embittered about their past, and unduly passive about their future, because they believe that untoward events in their personal history have imprisoned them. This belief underlies the victimology mind-set that is sweeping across the nation.” 31 march 2006

Obsessed with efficiency, to a fault. 26 March 2006

This morning our car window was smashed. I felt rage. Lots of anger lately, lots of hormones rushing thru my mommy-body. I thought of where this vandal must come from. I imagined an ex-convict father and an alcoholic grandmother. And then I cried, a little. I was on the elliptical machine so I ended the tears prematurely, didn't want to look like a complete freak. Anyway. Now is a good time to write about the 4 noble truths and that article I read which advised to expect inconvenience as a part of life. Sage Advice. And those 4 noble truths are all about suffering. There is suffering. There is a cause to suffering. There is an end to suffering. There is a path out of suffering. Thank God. 22 March 2006

When one didn't learn how to hold himself or herself in high regard, he or she has got to learn the following: (This is from the text: Ending the Struggle Against Yourself by Stan Taubman, DSW.)

++Deep Confidence is when you automatically know you are fundamentally adequate and therefore able to survive and thrive in this world. It is an assured sense of your own acceptability, both to yourself and to others. Use the personal pronoun. Deep Confidence is when I automatically know I am fundamentally adequate and therefore able to survive and thrive in this world. I can flourish like a lotus leaf. I accept myself and others accept me the way I am. I am acceptable. I more than pass. A+

BTW that picture above is my archetype. The Magician: "whispering truth" (Jungian). To write and re-write your life is essential in some cases (Narrative Therapy). When the past gives less to learn from than we'd like, it is about Re-Learning. When what was originally learned was not full of value; valor is required. A new syntax for life. A new syntax for psychology. At heart I am a Jungian therapist. In practice Positive Psychology influences me. I try to be as Cognitive as I can. It grounds me. Emotionally/Physically, I naturally take the Mind/Body Approach. This is approach is effective for PTSD. Self-Care is part of the Mind/Body approach. Exercise is important: to be flexible, balanced, strong in muscle and in heart=cardiovascularly. I need to contact my trainer; my Left hip is unbalanced/painful. I'll wait till after yoga tomorrow. Ian found me this article from a book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers (via boingboing):

The Devastating Effects Of Stress On Children

Just what are the effects of chronic stress on people? Sapolsky cheerfully enumerated a series of maladies, including colitis, Addison’s disease, arteriosclerosis, sexual dysfunction, and neurological damage. Most frightening of all, perhaps, was the cessation of growth in seriously stressed children.

Saplosky related a story about a boy from a very psychologically abusive setting who was hospitalized in a New York hospital with zero growth hormone in his bloodstream. Over the next two months he developed a close relationship with the nurse at the hospital–undoubtedly the first normal relationship he had ever had–and soon, amazingly enough, the growth hormone levels zoomed back to normal. The nurse then went on vacation and the levels dropped again, rising once more immediately after her return.

"Think about it," Sapolsky said, commenting upon the story. "The rate at which this child was depositing calcium in his bones could be explained entirely by how safe and loved he was feeling in the world." He added that while this standard textbook version of stressed dwarfism is rare, there is nevertheless "major league psychopathology" throughout society, retarding human growth.

"Major stress is the police and social workers breaking down the door of the apartment, finding the kids who have been locked in the closet for two months, the food slipped under the door. Total nightmare situations that turn out often in history. . . kids in war zones, kids in areas of civil strife."18 March 2006

http://ias.berkeley.edu/orias/hero/ This is a great visual depiction of the hero’s journey. 6 March 2006

http://www.tellingmystory.com/ This is a great Web site. Some of us are operating on survival mode. Thriving is the way out. We thrive with self-maintenance. This allows us to take the next step, toward flourishing like a Lotus Pad. As if we are plants growing. This site provides a way out. (BTW Eloise loves hanging her head back so she sees the world upside-down). 4 March 2006